artfuldestruction | 6TH PIECE - VIDEO/ACTION FOR THE GOLDENROD ROCKET BASE

[[There's a rather frazzled looking man appearing on the feed today, his brown hair falling over his face as he scowls into the camera. It's Kato, of course, but he's taken the liberty of shoving on a non-descript brunette wig in order to disguise his appearance. He hasn't bothered putting in contacts or anything like that, so with any luck no one on the feed will recognize him; he's discarded his mask so the chance is low, anyway. So Johto, if you're tapping into the feed today you'll be greeted by the sight of a grumpy looking man in a plain black shirt. Nothing suspicious or worth remembering here! Continuing to scowl, he addresses the camera.]]

Do any of you know how to deal with a Pokemon harbouring....inappropriate levels of affection for you?

[[His eyes dart to the side as he speaks, and he runs a hand over the back of his neck. Kato is at his wits end with this particular topic; research isn't helping and none of his other Pokemon seem to be of any help. So he's got no choice. Maybe someone out there will have some advice.]]

It's becoming incredibly frustrating and she's simply refusing to take a hin-no, Pyrite!

[[Suddenly, a woman with brown hair and a black shirt who could be the twin of Kato's disguise pops onto the feed, cuddling into him, her....grey wolf-like ears twitching happily. With a shove, Kato manages to push her away, and she promptly changes into a Zoroark, pouting and whining. Furiously straightening his clothes, Kato returns his attention to the feed.]]

Any advice on dealing with this would be much appreciated.

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

Um... I could try to talk to them...?

Wow, that's really creepy. I don't think I'd stand for it. But it sounds like you're going to figure something out, maybe?

[...Well. That happened.]

I. Ah. I do not believe I have ever encountered such a problem.

[That is. Just. Utterly lewd, on so very many levels. He needs a towel.]

Perhaps. Um. It requires additional training. In its regimen. For increased discipline. Um.

[... Yep, Dist sure did stop by Kato's lab to see...whatever it was that just happened.

Is walking in on weird stuff going on with Kato going to be a recurring thing? HE JUST WANTED TO SHARE SOME RECENT FINDINGS WITH HIS SCIENCE BRO JEEZ...

He clears his throat uncomfortably, reorganizing the papers he almost dropped.]

Kato...what in the world is wrong with your Pokemon?

[[Once he's got his Zoroark to stop trying to hug him, Kato pops back into view, raising a very skeptical eyebrow.]]

And how exactly do you plan to manage that, miss...?

I don't stand for it. She's just....rather stubborn.

[[Seriously, he's tried both the metaphorical carrot and the metaphorical stick to get this stupid pokemon to stop cuddling him every time he steps into view.]]

She's also very powerful so I'd rather not have to confine her to her pokeball. I raised her so I could use her, after all.

Consider yourself lucky.

[[Seriously; at least he can shove a Zoroark off. God forbid if this behaviour starts rubbing off on his Steelix.]]

Do you have any recommendations for this 'additional training', then?

[[Once he's switched off the camera, Kato angrily rips the wig from his head and leans back in his chair, the sour expression still on his face.]]

I have no idea; she's been doing this for a while, but it's escalated. Look.

[[...and yep, over in the corner there's a carbon copy of Kato, except with far more feminine features (if that's...possible...) and....assets. Despite how amusing a sight it is, the original version isn't seeing the humour. The copy blows her trainer a kiss, giggling.]]

I want to use her as a decoy for my work but she'll only transform into me.

How have you been punishing her?

[He glances in the Zoroark's direction.

Aaand more awkward coughing. If Kato was actually disguising up for a mission, Dist would honestly not be able to tell them apart.]

As much as I appreciate that Pokemon's ability, there is something so...wrong about this.

[Like Kato didn't already know though.]

Between this one, Pluto, and your Seviper...honestly Kato, what did you do to deserve all of that misfortune?

[[Have a light smirk.]]

How do you define punishment, out of curiosity?

I'm well aware that this is bordering on repulsive.

[[He shoots Pyrite a rather pointed glare as he says that, and her face falls slightly. Not enough to dampen her mood, however.]]

As for the rest of my Pokemon, I don't....I just don't know.

[[Is it clear he's frustrated? Because god is he frustrated.]]

I mean most of them are fine, but the ones who aren't...do you have any who cause you grief, Dist?

Well, the thing is... I can talk to Pokemon like you are talking to me. I can understand their language.

[It is crystal clear.

Dist's frown deepens at that question.]

Of course I do, and you know which one. You saw it. And I asked myself the exact same question I just asked you. I still do not have an answer.

[Poor misunderstood Leviathan...]

[...Have some cackling, okay, Kato.]

Oh man, that is hilarious! How do you get yourself in these sorts of situations, huh?

[First the Hydreigon, now this! Just going to laugh at your misfortune forever, bro.]

[[KILL YOURSELF RYUUNOSUKE!!!111]]

If I knew, I wouldn't get myself into them, would I?

[[That was probably 1000% more bitchy than necessary but ugh @ you tbh]]

[[Poor...every Pokemon belonging to either of these two loons, let's be real here]]

I'm contemplating using the same treatment on Pyrite as I did on Pluto, but obedience through starvation takes so long to really kick in, even if it does save on food costs.

[[....has he mentioned he's a horrible person

it's pretty subtle]]

Do you have any ideas?

You can understand their language.

[[That may have been said in a needlessly incredulous tone there; sorry Fluttershy, he's an asshole-]]

May I ask you to prove it?

[She doesn't mind, she has a hard time telling when people are assholes.]

Okay... Do any of your Pokemon know something about you that you haven't told me? I could ask them to share something.

[He briefly stares at Kato in a, "...wow why didn't I think of that?" way. Because really, what a good obedience training idea.]

Simply ignoring her advances hasn't worked, and you do not wish to give in which I certainly cannot blame you for.

[He thinks it over for a moment, although the sour look on his face says he doesn't really like the idea he's come up with.]

If you're set on keeping her around, have you considered attempting to advert her attention to something else?

...Have you attempted leaving her in one of the PC boxes? Unless she's a necessary component of your team, it's really just less of a hassle to do that.

[...kind of cute, if weird! Obviously there's an issue here, but. No need to be so mean about it jeez.]

If you mean to turn her down, then you should tell her so in a straightforward but polite way.

[That's, like, Romance 101. Come on, man.]

[god why]

You're sure you didn't bring it on yourself?

[NO THANKS, THEN HE COULDN'T TROLL YOU

UNLESS HE CAME BACK AS A GHOST-TYPE POKEMON OR SOMETHING

THAT WOULD BE PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY.....]

Nah, I guess that would be asking for too much, huh?

[It's okay, no offense taken!]

Have you just tried keeping it in the ball? Maybe the infatuation will wear off after awhile! It does still listen to you when you're battling, right?

[[Have a rather withering look.]]

Yes. I tend to make a regular habit of flirting with my Pokemon and leading them on, only to callously reject them when my interest wanes.

Are you an idiot?

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6TH PIECE - VIDEO/ACTION FOR THE GOLDENROD ROCKET BASE

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